Hanging planters are my new thing for making my tiny Chicago apartment less, like, depressing. I’m sprawled on my saggy couch right now, staring at this pothos that’s basically trying to escape its macramé hanger like it’s got big plans. Couple years ago, I couldn’t keep a fake plant alive—I forgot to dust it, and it looked sad as hell. Now my walls are kinda jungly, and I’m sorta proud, even tho I’m a total disaster at this plant stuff. Heres my raw, kinda chaotic story about hanging planters, with all my dumb screw-ups and random wins.
Why I’m All About Hanging Planters
So, I moved into this dinky Wicker Park apartment last summer, and the walls were giving straight-up “sad motel” vibes. Beige and boring. One night, I’m scrolling X, chugging a warm LaCroix, and I see this influencer’s wall with hanging planters, all green and vibey. I’m like, “Yo, I could do that.” Spoiler: I couldn’t. My first try was a dollar store cactus in a cheap plastic pot I hung with some yarn—crashed at 3 a.m., dirt all over, scared the crap outta me. But that fail got me hooked. Hanging planters save space, make my walls look alive, and let me pretend I’m not a total mess at life.
- No space? Whatever: My place is like 600 square feet, so I’m all about going vertical.
- Looks dope: They make my walls look like I actually care about decor.
- Kinda chill: Watering plants while blasting Doja Cat feels like I’m winning at something.
My Worst Hanging Planter Disasters
Real talk: I’ve killed so many plants, it’s embarassing. I had this fern I named Fernie—yeah, I’m that dork who names plants. Hung it in a thrifted ceramic pot from Pilsen, thought I’d be the best plant mom ever. Nope. It was crispy in like two weeks. My neighbor, this nosy old dude, saw it and gave me this look like I’d failed at life. Turns out, ferns need humidity, and Chicago winters are dry as my bank account. Lesson? Google your plants, dude.
Then there was the time I thought I was smart and hung a heavy terracotta planter with some sketchy Command strips. Yeah, it crashed during a work Zoom, dirt all over my rug, and I’m like, “Oh, just the dog,” even tho I don’t have one. Now I use these sturdy hooks from Ace Hardware for heavy stuff. If you’re a plant killer like me, go for pothos or spider plants—they’re basically unkillable.
Picking Hanging Planters That Match Your Chaos
Picking hanging planters is like picking a bar to hit up—looks matter, but it’s gotta work for you. I’m obsessed with macramé planters cause they’re boho and hide my sloppy side. Got a set from Etsy in mustard yellow that screams “I’m trying to be artsy but broke.” Ceramic ones, tho? They’re my weakness. I painted a smiley face on one during a drunk craft night, and it’s the star of my balcony, even if it’s chipped to hell.
- Macramé: Cheap, light, and you can DIY if you’re not lazy like me.
- Ceramic: Cute but heavy. Don’t skimp on hooks.
- Metal baskets: Good for herbs if you’re fancy—I burn water, so I pass.
Tips for Not Completely Killing Your Hanging Planters
I’m no plant guru—Fernie still haunts me—but I’ve learned some stuff. Don’t overwater, for one. I turned my pothos into a swamp once cause I was trying to be “attentive.” Stick your finger in the soil—if it’s wet, chill out. Light’s a big deal too. My spider plant was moping in a dark corner till I moved it by my balcony door—now it’s living its best life. Also, turn your planters every week or so, so they don’t grow all lopsided like mine did for months.
Check out Bloomscape for plant tips—they’ve saved my butt a few times. Oh, and if you’re forgetful like me, grab a self-watering hanging planter from Amazon. It’s like a babysitter for your plants.
My Current Hanging Planter Setup (It’s a Hot Mess)
My balcony’s a total mess of hanging planters right now—three macramé ones with pothos, my chipped ceramic smiley guy with a spider plant, and an empty metal basket cause I killed the basil (again). It’s not Insta-worthy; there’s dirt on my railing, and one planter’s got a coffee stain from when I tripped. But when the Chicago sunrise hits those green leaves, I’m like, “Yo, I did something right.” That neon green lizard toy in the vines? Thrift store impulse buy, but it’s so me.
Wrapping Up My Plant Rant
Hanging planters are the easiest way to make your walls less sad, but it’s a whole journey. I’m still learning, still killing plants, and still laughing at my own dumb screw-ups. If you’re in a tiny apartment like me, give ‘em a try. Start with a pothos in a macramé hanger and don’t stress if it’s not perfect. Got a plant fail or a fave hanging planter? Hit me up on X—I’m nosy and wanna know. Lets swap stories and keep our walls green, y’all!
